Season the beef with salt and pepper. Sear in a hot pan with olive oil for 1–2 minutes per side until browned, then remove and brush with English mustard. In the same pan, sauté the finely chopped mushrooms, garlic, and butter until all moisture evaporates (10 minutes). Let cool.

Lay out a sheet of plastic wrap. Overlap prosciutto slices to form a rectangle, then spread the mushroom duxelles evenly over the prosciutto. Place the beef fillet in the center and use the plastic wrap to roll the prosciutto tight around the beef. Chill for 15 minutes to hold its shape.

Unroll the puff pastry sheet. Cut 1/4 of the sheet into long, thin 1/2-inch strips to serve as "bandages." Wrap the main piece of pastry around the beef log, sealing the seam underneath. Drape the extra pastry strips crisscross over the top to resemble overlapping mummy wrappings, leaving a small gap near one end for the face.

Brush generously with egg wash. Place two peppercorns or olive cutouts in the open gap to create staring eyes. Bake at 400°F (200°C) for 30–35 minutes until the pastry is deep golden brown and the meat reaches medium-rare (125°F/52°C internal temperature). Rest 10 minutes before slicing.

Heat vegetable oil in a large Dutch oven or heavy pot over medium-high heat. Season the cubed beef with salt and pepper, then sear in batches until deeply browned on all sides. Remove beef and set aside.

In the same pot, cook the diced onion and garlic for 3 minutes until soft. Stir in chili powder, cumin, smoked paprika, and dark cocoa powder. Pour in the crushed tomatoes and beef broth, stirring to scrape up any browned bits from the bottom.

Return the beef and any accumulated juices back to the pot, bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer gently for 1.5 to 2 hours until the beef is melt-in-your-mouth tender. Stir in the black beans during the last 15 minutes of cooking.

Ladle the dark, rich chili into black bowls (your mini cauldrons). Dollop a generous swirl of bright green guacamole directly into the center to look like a bubbling witch's potion, and serve with broomstick-shaped tortilla chips for dipping.

Remove stems from the mushrooms. Use the end of a straw to punch out two eye holes. Use a paring knife to notch out a small triangular nose and carve vertical teeth lines into the bottom rim. Set aside.

Heat 2 tbsp olive oil in a dark ceramic pot or heavy Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Season beef chunks with salt and pepper. Sear in batches for 5–6 minutes until deeply browned on all sides. Remove beef and set aside.

Add remaining oil to the pot along with the diced onion and garlic; cook for 4 minutes. Stir in tomato paste and flour, cooking for 1 minute. Pour in the dark stout and beef stock, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom.

Return the beef to the pot, then add the potatoes, sliced purple carrots, and fresh thyme sprigs. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer gently for 1.5 hours until the beef is tender.

Uncover the pot and carefully float your carved mushroom skulls face-up on top of the bubbling broth. Cover and simmer for an additional 8–10 minutes until the mushrooms are tender.

Ladle into dark bowls, ensuring each serving features several mushroom skulls and sprigs of fresh thyme on top. Serve with crusty dark rye or sourdough bread.